Thursday, February 10, 2011

guest post: five things: living together, by dacia


Greetings fellow vintch readers! I am Dacia from The Ruffly Owl, and I’m beyond excited to be guest posting here today. I recently told Courtney that she is my ‘chicken soup for the soul’ and I sincerely meant it. So when I was asked if I’d like to join in on this series I was honored. Here are five things I wish someone would have told me about living with your significant other, but consequently have learned along the way. xo, Dacia

1. You still need to clean up after yourself. The rules of living with your significant other are similar to the rules when you were living with your parents. You shouldn’t expect the other person to pick up your slack and your mess, and you should be mindful of your contribution to a clutter free and peaceful living space. After all, you’re not the only person living there. 

2. Grab your own towel. How many of us have jumped in the shower only to realize we’re out of soap, shampoo, or have no clean towel waiting for us on the hook next to the shower curtain? How many of us then shout out across the house (still in the shower) to our significant other for these things we forgot? Sure, we’re all human and forget or need silly things all the time. But if it becomes a habit and we begin to rely on the other person too often it can be a nuisance. 

3. Alone time is important. We’re a couple and now living together. We sleep together, eat together, and possibly spend all day together. That’s great, but we should still spend some time alone. The thought of being alone might be scary for some. Let’s be honest, it can be boring at times, but we should embrace it. Take this time to redo the polish on your nails, catch up on Oprah, read that book you’ve been putting off, take a bubble bath, or organize your shoes. Do something for you.

4. Have hobbies of your own. This is similar to number 3. Oftentimes we share so much of our lives together that we start morphing into each other. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s equally important to have your own hobbies and interests. Think about it, your s.o. goes out to ride mountain bikes with his friends (as is the case with my husband), and you partake in something you love to do. Maybe it’s crafting, having lunch with your girl friends, or shopping (as is the case with me on all of these). The point is you are an individual who has much to contribute to this partnership. Stay true to yourself and enjoy the things you like to do.

5. Be considerate of the other person. Of these 5, this is probably the most important. You’re in a partnership and you’re sharing a home. This partnership and home require work to function smoothly, and part of this work is being considerate of the other person. Did he/she have a long day; therefore, maybe we should take our turn to make dinner instead? Are we listening to each other, not just unloading our own stress? Are we checking in with each other about our schedules before planning things? If you think about it, being considerate for the other person is acting selflessly. After all, you’re not the only person in the relationship.

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thanks, dacia! be sure to check out her blog, the ruffly owl, and her etsy shop here.

15 comments:

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Very good list. I've been blissfully happily married for a long time and couldn't agree with you more. My husband and I have the words "be good to each other" engraved on our rings and that kind of sums it up for us :)

Laura said...

Great tips for living together! My fiance and I have been living together for over a year now and we've gotten pretty good at balancing our alone time and couple time which I agree is very important! I also agree with Jeanette - being good to each other is a great maxim to live and love by!

-Sam I Am- said...

truest words EVER spoken!!!! seriously.

great advice dear :)

Farmchick said...

A very thoughtful list and every items so true.

Blondie's Journal said...

All of your points are so true. I especially like Number 1, because that is what my husband seems to have to work on a bit. I am a neat freak and I only expect him to clean up after himself. Number 5 is very sensible, too. I think respect is the key to a great relationship.

We have been married 24 years and we are still a work in progress!

XO,
Jane

Ana* said...

Great list. #3 and #4 are big ones.

Kimbirdy said...

i just moved in with my partner a few months ago, after 10 years of living completely alone. it's SO HARD to share a space with someone else! i miss those days of having my own apartment, so #5 is a big one. but in our situation, it's more of me needing to be considerate of the fact he likes to spend time with me, and him being considerate of the fact that i like to do my own thing. it's tough to wade through the living together part when you're older and already have your own ways of doing things. oh relationships... :)

Diana Smith said...

These are awesome rules to live by! They are sooo true! I have been married for almost 3 years and this makes a happy relationship!

Thisisme. said...

Good guest post, and excellent list that you have put up there. I think they are all excellent, and very wise!

Amber Blue Bird said...

alone time is a must. You still need to be your own person even if you are part of a twosome. :)

Angela said...

Fantastic tips!!

mskanorado said...

This is a very good lists! A very wise, list to say the least. Nice guest post!!!

Emily said...

Good advice! Ill have to keep these things in mind for the future! Guests posts are always fun and i will be checking out her blog!

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

wonderful points dacia! honestly, i wish you would come over and remind the boyf about no.1 for me. the sock cemetery (as i call it) is piling up to quite an impact of an escarpment ; )

i loved reading this tonight, thanks courtney...now it's time to go catch up on dacia's blog. she is such a darling! happy tripping to you love. ♥

Anonymous said...

Great advice! My husband & I have been together for almost 15 years. He is a blessing but sometimes forgets #1. #3 was hard to get used too but I have learned to do my own thing & actually enjoy it. I look forward to going to a "chick flick" from time to time; spending a few hours with my girlfriends is free therapy; shopping is my personal favorite :)

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