Wednesday, February 9, 2011

a series: five things i wish someone would have told me: the real world


1. the cliques are still there. girls can still be hurtful and boys can still bruise. that doesn't end with high school and it certainly doesn't end with college. the challenge is rising above it all and staying true to how God made you. because david whyte was right. the truth is, anyone or anything that does not bring you alive is too small for you.

2. schoolwork is over, and full-time work typically only lasts until five, but you still have to balance and schedule. i thought when i graduated that i would just have tons of free time to lay around and be lazy with my new husband. those times are there, but they take careful planning. i've rediscovered mornings. with all their dewy grass and songbirds. i get up earlier, read scripture and focus myself, giving me the energy and clarity i need to arrange my day the way i want it.

3. you've got to work to maintain your friendships. high school and college are like little bubbles. you get to spend so much time with your friends! you are all experiencing this adventure together, maybe living together, staying up late together, and just inhabiting the same world together. when the school stops and real life kicks in, people move away. separate. lose touch. and it's so hard to maintain that connection without the connecting factor, that common ground of school. so you work at it. you write hand-written letters to each other. you facebook. you drive halfway across the state to see them. whatever it takes. because female friendships are sacred.

4. you've got to work at your love too. work can be stifling and overwhelming and i often find myself knee deep in proposals and papers and just the computer in general, that i take robert and his sweet presence for granted. go on dates. just do it.

5. the only way to get through this crazy, beautiful, immaculately chaotic life is with the help of our Savoir. He is, after all, what makes this world so gosh-darn real.

35 comments:

jeanette from everton terrace said...

yes, I think the whole friendship thing is a shocker because it's so easy to take those for granted when you are young and in school together. Your job is to go to school where they all are. It takes much more work as you get older, then kids come and their friends get mixed in - taking the time to nurture your own friendships is important.

the southern hostess said...

Great advice! It's been 5 years since I graduated college and I think I'm still adjusting to it all.

Nicole said...

#5. SO true!!!

Jenni Austria Germany said...

i agree with all of these. i had a similar #1 awakening in college when i encountered someone similar to regina george of Mean Girls and i said to my friend, "wait, these people don't just exist in high school? aren't we too old for this?"...nope, never too old!

misshannie said...

I love this post. All these are so, so true - and such great advice! At the age of 18 I'm finding out that my initial image of adulthood was not quite reality: girls can still be cruel, and boys will always be boys!

Much love,
Hannie
http://teaandbiscuits13.blogspot.com
xoxo

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

#2-#5 I fully agree with you on. #1 is tricky -- the cliques exist but they're not everywhere. I find it's much easier to have a variety of friends now than I did when I was in high school. But in a work environment? I've definitely seen those get cliquey.

Brooke said...

wow all amazingly true. I'm sick of cliques and I even see them in the blogger world and I am not liking it!

Cara-Mia said...

Wow. This is all so true!

Peaches said...

Courtney I love that you're posting about real world truths. I was so disillusioned when I left college. What I thought about the 'real world' was nothing like reality. I felt cheated and like I had been lied to for years. It was kind of tough having to readjust how I thought about my world. I'm looking forward to reading about what you've learned because I have a feeling it's going to be similar to my experiences.

Lauren said...

The crazy thing about #3 is once you become a mother, all the girls you use to know who are now mothers all of a sudden are back in your life! Even some you knew but were never friends with.

Totally agree that it takes work though. My best friend from high schoool and I have to plan a date every month so we don't lose touch, but we don't always succeed at it. Shes like my sister and I'm so happy shes still in my life!

Perfect Peace said...

I love this! Sometimes I focus so much on just wanted to graduate and be done with school that I forget that life is tough no matter what stage you're in. I've got to just appreciate where I am now! :)

ruthy ann said...

I couldn't agree with you more...if anything life keeps piling on more things and people to balance...it would be impossible to show anyone love or grace without our Lord.

Ana* said...

Number five is my favorite, thanks for sharing this with us. Great advice!!

ms. elisabeth said...

I absolutely love this. If you don't mind, I'd like to do a similar post in future.

I love the way you write.
I think you're amazing.


♥Elisabeth

Diana Smith said...

You mean once I graduate, I won't have free time!? Darn haha Oh well, having a busy life is not boring!

Mo Pie, Please said...

Such wonderful advice! You do have to work at maintaining friendships. I've felt it on both sides, for sure. Same with love - my hubs has been one busy man but he stops to make sure I'm happy and I truly appreciate that.

Amanda Moury said...

Holy cow, it takes time and work to maintain relationships is ABSOLUTELY true. When you become adults it's not just, "I'll see you at school" Everyone has their own lives and things going on, everyone has to work at it. :) Great real life points :)

Thisisme. said...

Wonderful advice here, vintch! Loved it. I really liked number 3, and absolutely loved that quote " anyone or anything that does not bring you alive, is too small for you. " I will borrow that quote by David Whyte if you don't mind. Beautiful photo of you by the way!

mskanorado said...

I couldn't agree more with ALL of these! Seriously! Women seem to be more into the cliques than men - and it's just silly to me. Friendships was kind of a big thing...sometimes you have to realize you have to make the effort the most, and sometimes they are going to feel the same way. Those that never make the effort seem to kind of fade away - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I believe sometimes we have people in seasons of our lives for certain reasons then they leave. Sometimes they come back again for another season and sometimes they never come back. Sometimes that's just the way life works, like it or not. And the rest are quite self explanatory! ;)
Hope you are having a lovely Thursday Miss Courtney!

Amber Blue Bird said...

"you've got to work to maintain your friendships"

I couldnt agree more with this one...my friends are all scattered about now so we really have to make time to meet up or even just talk on the phone...but it is so worth it

Daydream Living said...

Beautiful Courtney,
I just read all the posts I had missed, I feel much better now, but girl, reading all your posts one after another, little notes from Robert, about the man with the burden on his shoulders, your nook, your world, I really, not just saying so, love what you create here Courtney. Tell your mama, her daughter is very special, and I know that she and Robert already know this, but still, you are, special.
Keep singing in the car!
Maureen xx
(so glad we have met here in Blogland xx)

cailen ascher said...

why doesn't anyone tell you that relationships take work? like a lot. in a good way. but in a very necessary way too.

great blog, by the way! glad i found you.
til next time,
cailen

ps i'm your newest follower

Kristen said...

absolutely could not agree more with everything you mentioned here. great advice :)

mskanorado said...

PS I have something for you at my blog!

Ashley said...

SO TRUE. Oh my goodness. I think God gave you the gift of truth serum and sweetness...because your posts are always so honest & truthful, touching & sweet.

I love the quote you shared: "anyone or anything that does not bring you alive is too small for you." I will have to remember that.

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

I like what you said about maintaining friendships. It was such a shock when we all went in different directions and now we have to work to see each other!
All very good advice :)

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

courtney, you have the loveliest profile and your darling little ear...love!

the quote from no.1 is so amazing, i will be keeping that one close by to refer back to. everything in your 5 has helped me today, i'm grateful for you and the way you teach with your writing. it's never a traditionally strict lesson, more like a gentle influence in the right direction.

xo ♥

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

I have to say you sound like an awesome friend. I cant remember the last time I wrote a handwritten letter.

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Also I got a blog award and you were one of the people I passed it onto. All of the info is on my page :) xoxo

Amy said...

You are so very right.
Girls are and will always be catty. And even though I'm in college, my best friends all moved away so keeping in touch is key. And making time is a huge important part of my life. If anyone ever asks me the "secret to life", I'm going to tell them to come visit your blog darling.

Xoxo

Shalyn said...

You are so spot on with these- I love the one about friendship. Its so funny how you can have best friends one day and then they move and don't talk for a year. I really need to work on that one! Hope you have a great Thursday!

Darcy said...

yes. especially that girlfriend one. I moved to San Diego two years ago and miss my girlfriends very much! I am trying to meet new ones here, but find myself dreaming of my old ones, I gotta get back on the horse :-)
very good five things.

Diana Mieczan said...

I also get up early to get a good start to the day with a little "me time" where I just check my mail, get my thoughts organized. Im planning to start meditate again too:)
Have a great Friday
Kisses

Signe said...

I could not agree more with #1 and #3! Friendship was so easy back in the days when we hung out together every day but now that I see my friends more rarely I realize it is a bit of work as well. But a work that is certainly worth it!

Hugs and a happy weekend to you :)

LesleyRH said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! You're so right about the cliques. I couldn't wait to get out of high school and get away from that, but as it turns out, you never get away from it!

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