Friday, February 11, 2011

guest post: five things: life in general, by lynn

Adoration salutations fellow vintch readers! I'm Lynn from hearted girl and Courtney has graciously invited me to guest post here today. I am honored that someone I respect so much and who has in many ways assumed the role of depth coach, in my mind, asked me to consciously create a little list for you all. I've been spinning my wheels and pruning my answers on the topic of:

Five Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About...Life in General

1. Record your meaningfuls.
Time isn't just a magazine, but it could be a video! The older I get the faster time seems to move. We aren't always sitting on the edge of our seats with excitement, counting the days until "the next" big WOW or plunged by the suction of a light bulb moment. Reflectively speaking, various occasions in our lives have a dullness which somehow seeps into our highlighted hours and can chill them out.

I experienced this wane of energy in the weeks leading up to the day my Dad died. No amount of preparation can brace you for the impact of a parent’s death but we were thankfully given 6 months with the knowledge that they would be his last. This was a stress filled juncture, mostly for Dad, who tried his best to be "uppy" while assuming the lead role on our life's stage.

Blessed with the knowing still didn't equip me for what I would miss after; the way his brow would furl into a lined formation across his forehead, the wisdom in his eyes when he was about to impart some noble information but mostly the sound of his voice. Just the very tone and timber which was his alone.

I have but one regret; the limited recordings I have that document these irreplaceable things. Back then it was a VHS world, we didn't have the kinds of gadgets we do today. The something I wish I knew then would be put it on tape! Have something on video in case there comes a time when they aren't around anymore. Yes, moments together are precious but you won't be able to retrieve them off the coffee table one day, those stacks of magazines from the memories in your mind will eventually fade and tatter as their counterparts would. On the days that you need them, you'll be thankful that the option of pressing play is there.

2. Put yourself in a place where comparison isn't a go-to option.
The trappings of comparison - we all do it; look at others and feel less about ourselves. "Comparison is the thief of joy" The whereabouts of this quote I'm unable to determine but it's been something I've said to myself every day since the first time I heard it.

Many a self-pity-party was held because of this toxic "c" word. My folks embedded a bit of peace treaty knowledge by helping me understand that you are inevitably who you surround yourself with. So if you are feeling a comparative study coming on one too many times it may have something to do with your setting. Take a good look and be mindful of the ambiance. Moving to a new neighborhood, symbolically speaking, could be a step towards a sturdier stance for your psyche.

3. Develop deal-breakers.
Leaving a person or situation can be extremely difficult and sometimes paralysis sets in, making it impossible to move out of the way. If you already have an established personal manifesto with easy to follow rules in place than you are one step ahead of the game. 

People make lists all the time: grocery lists, to do lists and of course "ideal love" lists but the one I'm talking about making is specifically targeting the "nope, this isn't good enough for me" list and sticking to it with all your might. This kind of a guarded fence provides enough self-awareness against the culprits who try to scale it. A good, solid NO is as effective as a figurative ZAP.

4. Friendship isn't based on a mood.
Circuits misfire sometimes and your cluster of bf's or bff's shift courses. Whether a reason is given or not, it can suck when you're left to wonder the whys while performing an autopsy of the situation. I wish I'd known not to have sweated over a definitive answer, it's usually a waste of time and energy but the basic fact being a true friend always has your back. Winds of change may blow and distance or years apart happen; still when a bona fide temple is built you can return to visit and it is as it always was. That's how you know the rest were only a mirage.

5. Be careful about the trends you follow.
Oh boy, I've been through a potpourri of hair styles, make-up techniques and fashion cataclysms. Most have understandably stunk! Attempts to create the perfectly fabulous carbonated look fell flat and I'm sure Mr. Blackwell would have had a hay day upon reviewing these disasters.

I wish someone had told me that it's okay to have blunders so I wouldn't have beaten myself up so much in the moment and taken to tossing out some unperceived treasures. Just because they were once flops doesn't mean they can't make a reinterpreted comeback. There's undeniable logic behind why men are the hunters and we ladies are the gatherers. I should have used that wisdom, maybe then I'd still have my Elizabeth Taylor-like slip dresses that cost practically pennies; now sold at hot spots like La Perla for centuplicate amounts. 

“Wherever I go low or high places, I have to represent the truth…once the lights are turned on you realize you’ve been in the dark for a long time…I want to let young people know that it is not a burden to love him & to represent him & to be who you are as fly & as hot & as whatever & to still love God & to serve him…it’s not a contradiction…It Is Not A Contradiction!”
~ Lauryn Hill ~

images via weheartit
thank you, lynn! be sure to check out her blog and leave her some weekend love:)


Laura said...

Wow, I just have so many great things to say about this post that I don't know where to start! So many of these little tidbits are exactly what I've been needing to hear right now - especially about developing deal-breakers. I also really love the notion of not constantly allowing yourself to be compared against others. In everything I do, I try to gauge my happiness or success or talent against that of others and it's an extremely exhausting habit. I think it's important to remember that your standards should be set internally, not by someone else, and that the people and places with which you surround yourself play a major role in how you think about those standards. Thanks for such a thoughtful and thought-provoking post Lynn!

mskanorado said...

What a very lovely guest post! I enjoyed this very much! These are all so very, very important! Thank you for sharing! Have a lovely weekend!

becca said...

grat post and i agree with everything you said wish someone had told me these things as well

Dacia@TheRufflyOwl said...

that was great! i thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. now i'm off to check out your blog. :)

Ana* said...

I can not tell you how much I love the 5 points you've made. I will definitely put #3 on practice

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Such a great post- I read it slowly and savored it- have a lovely weekend.

Amber Blue Bird said...

wow she did such a great job with this post. I really enjoyed reading every word.

Meri said...

Lovely guest post- I feel like I just talked to one of my sisters :)

Holly said...

I really like this list - especially the one about friendship. :)

Lily from Birch + Bird said...

Wow, Lynn! These are all fabulous and I will definitely be rereading them until they sink in and will hopefully pass on similar tidbits of wisdom to my own children, especially to my 2 young daughters. Thank you so much for sharing!

Ashley, Lions Lace Lattes said...

This was a beautiful post. :) Thanks!

Ashley said...

Fabulous and Wonderful are not adequate words to describe this post. I was touched and inspired by all that you said. I found myself trembling as you described your dad's death, and you lack of footage...made me want to get in the car and make a little documentary of my folks...because I'm not sure what I would do if I lost them.
Thanks for sharing this. I love it.
xo Ashley

Kylie said...

Just magnificent, Lynn... you're a bit of an 'old soul' yourself, lovely :) Kx

Cat said...

So lovely! What an inspirational post! xo Cat

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

All great advice!! I've definitely developed deal breakers over the years!

Jenni Austria Germany said...

this series is fun. and i love all her images.

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

oooh very very well said. I love every single one of these five things post. I am a very sentimental person and the first one really struck me. I think I should do a little documentation every now and then too. I have tons of scrapbook but videos would be fun too, it would be nice to hit that play button and hear someone's voice, facial expression and just look back on happy moments. =) Great post

Laura-Bear said...

bookmarking this post. so much goodness. so much wisdom and truth and encouragement. xoxoxo lovelovelove

Jenni said...

This was FANTASTIC. Truly and deeply spoke to me today. A huge thank you to both of you lovely ladies!!!

Janette said...

AMAZINGGGGG guest post. Made me teary... Thanks to the Vintch blogmama for inviting the lovely Lynn... I'm so sorry about your daddy, Lynnster...Life can be such a sad business...

Janette, the Jongleur

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

girls, i read every comment about 5 times and am deeply touched and grateful for your kind words, encouraging ways and lady love!

this post was so spontaneous, after courtney filled me in on her 5 things idea (brilliantly engaging topic!) and invited me over for a guest feature i just sort of went with the 1st 5 things that came into my mind. it's happiness for me to know it's touched you. thank you for reading!

my greatest love is connecting with people and the blog tribe is such a stellar way to do that very thing. much love to you all and courtney, lady...bottom of my heart thanks again! you are the best host a girl could dream of.

xoox ♥

Rubie Hubie said...

ayayay! So much greatness!!! :)

Bibi - Simple Summit said...

I read this very late, but I love the post. It's very in depth (thanks for the openness about your father). I particularly liked number 3 - thank you! Very great post, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

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