guest post: five things: life in general, by lynn

Adoration salutations fellow vintch readers! I'm Lynn from hearted girl and Courtney has graciously invited me to guest post here today. I am honored that someone I respect so much and who has in many ways assumed the role of depth coach, in my mind, asked me to consciously create a little list for you all. I've been spinning my wheels and pruning my answers on the topic of:

Five Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About...Life in General

1. Record your meaningfuls.

Time isn't just a magazine, but it could be a video! The older I get the faster time seems to move. We aren't always sitting on the edge of our seats with excitement, counting the days until "the next" big WOW or plunged by the suction of a light bulb moment. Reflectively speaking, various occasions in our lives have a dullness which somehow seeps into our highlighted hours and can chill them out.

I experienced this wane of energy in the weeks leading up to the day my Dad died. No amount of preparation can brace you for the impact of a parent’s death but we were thankfully given 6 months with the knowledge that they would be his last. This was a stress filled juncture, mostly for Dad, who tried his best to be "uppy" while assuming the lead role on our life's stage.

Blessed with the knowing still didn't equip me for what I would miss after; the way his brow would furl into a lined formation across his forehead, the wisdom in his eyes when he was about to impart some noble information but mostly the sound of his voice. Just the very tone and timber which was his alone.

I have but one regret; the limited recordings I have that document these irreplaceable things. Back then it was a VHS world, we didn't have the kinds of gadgets we do today. The something I wish I knew then would be put it on tape! Have something on video in case there comes a time when they aren't around anymore. Yes, moments together are precious but you won't be able to retrieve them off the coffee table one day, those stacks of magazines from the memories in your mind will eventually fade and tatter as their counterparts would. On the days that you need them, you'll be thankful that the option of pressing play is there.

2. Put yourself in a place where comparison isn't a go-to option.
The trappings of comparison - we all do it; look at others and feel less about ourselves. "Comparison is the thief of joy" The whereabouts of this quote I'm unable to determine but it's been something I've said to myself every day since the first time I heard it.

Many a self-pity-party was held because of this toxic "c" word. My folks embedded a bit of peace treaty knowledge by helping me understand that you are inevitably who you surround yourself with. So if you are feeling a comparative study coming on one too many times it may have something to do with your setting. Take a good look and be mindful of the ambiance. Moving to a new neighborhood, symbolically speaking, could be a step towards a sturdier stance for your psyche.

3. Develop deal-breakers.

Leaving a person or situation can be extremely difficult and sometimes paralysis sets in, making it impossible to move out of the way. If you already have an established personal manifesto with easy to follow rules in place than you are one step ahead of the game. 

People make lists all the time: grocery lists, to do lists and of course "ideal love" lists but the one I'm talking about making is specifically targeting the "nope, this isn't good enough for me" list and sticking to it with all your might. This kind of a guarded fence provides enough self-awareness against the culprits who try to scale it. A good, solid NO is as effective as a figurative ZAP.

4. Friendship isn't based on a mood.

Circuits misfire sometimes and your cluster of bf's or bff's shift courses. Whether a reason is given or not, it can suck when you're left to wonder the whys while performing an autopsy of the situation. I wish I'd known not to have sweated over a definitive answer, it's usually a waste of time and energy but the basic fact being a true friend always has your back. Winds of change may blow and distance or years apart happen; still when a bona fide temple is built you can return to visit and it is as it always was. That's how you know the rest were only a mirage.

5. Be careful about the trends you follow.

Oh boy, I've been through a potpourri of hair styles, make-up techniques and fashion cataclysms. Most have understandably stunk! Attempts to create the perfectly fabulous carbonated look fell flat and I'm sure Mr. Blackwell would have had a hay day upon reviewing these disasters.

I wish someone had told me that it's okay to have blunders so I wouldn't have beaten myself up so much in the moment and taken to tossing out some unperceived treasures. Just because they were once flops doesn't mean they can't make a reinterpreted comeback. There's undeniable logic behind why men are the hunters and we ladies are the gatherers. I should have used that wisdom, maybe then I'd still have my Elizabeth Taylor-like slip dresses that cost practically pennies; now sold at hot spots like La Perla for centuplicate amounts. 

“Wherever I go low or high places, I have to represent the truth…once the lights are turned on you realize you’ve been in the dark for a long time…I want to let young people know that it is not a burden to love him & to represent him & to be who you are as fly & as hot & as whatever & to still love God & to serve him…it’s not a contradiction…It Is Not A Contradiction!”

~ Lauryn Hill ~

images via weheartit

-----------------------------------------------------------------

thank you, lynn! be sure to check out her blog and leave her some weekend love:)