Thursday, June 14, 2012

in the country, where the prayers grow like weeds along the road


it was a sunday in october when we set off on the ferry. a short jaunt from long island to connecticut across a sea of blue glass, seamless save for a few boats that cut through the currents. it was cold and you were wearing your members only jacket, my goosebumped arms tucked into it too. i told myself in that moment, remember this as a time you were happy. my mind literally formed that exact phrase.

i reminded myself the same thing that afternoon in charlotte. when we snuck off from the walking trail to explore the vacant playground. the slides and the merry-go-round and empty field. there are some times when i am so cognizant, so fully aware, of the desire to remember something, to store it up and preserve it, that it almost breaks my heart.

such a moment happened this morning. in the laundry room out the back of the house, with the late dawn sunshine pouring in through the glass door and old blinds. pablo lying in the exact place it chose to dance across the worn carpet. you came in wearing your blue collar and pants stained with dirt and something about the way the light hit your forehead made me drop the shirt i was folding and drink in the room.

remember this as a time you were happy.

i waved goodbye to you on the brick porch and went back to finish getting ready. it was then i found your note on my laptop. i went outside to check on our garden at 1. a.m., you wrote. let's build a farm one day.

i'll follow you. down the driveway. the road. the country. as we build our life with these happy mornings. remembering all the way.

8 comments:

Suz said...

Love, love, love!!! I pictured the whole scene, and I put my hand across my heart in that "wow" way, when I read the words of Robert's note. I think you two belong together as much as my own parents did.:) Indeed, this deserves another heart-touching "wow."

kate said...

this made my heart drop in the most romantic way imaginable. so full of imagery i could see everything about it. even the note on your laptop and you standing in the laundry room. thank you for sharing your morning. so incredible <3

Cassie said...

precious and beautiful and so very romantic. I'm sure you'll keep notes like those forever. xx

larisaa said...

So lovely. The part about wanting to remember so badly that it breaks your heart is just so perfect and beautifully written. I know I've told you this about a hundred times, but you really do have such a talent for telling stories and making them come alive.

wildchild said...

So so wonderful. Moments like this are the bread and butter of my life and I'm so glad you're drinking them in too :) I'm also glad that you're sharing them like this, cause you're a darn good writer

chambanachik said...

Those moments are so necessary for the times that are harder.

Penny Dreadful Vintage said...

What a lovely piece of writing. I love those moments when you just step outside yourself and take a mental snapshot :)

Penny Dreadful Vintage

Diana said...

courtney, i literally do the same thing all the time! driving down the road into a beautiful panorama of sunshine and light beams, laying my head on my mama's lap as she strokes my hair from my eyes, holding blake's hand as we walk through the dim lit park--- remember this moment as a time you were happy. mental snapshots to store up in an album i fumble through often.

i love it.

and. i also love yours and robert's love. it is so precious, so quaint and so pure. i am so happy you give us glimpses of it from time to time.

you two are truly so blessed and honestly, such a blessing to me.

ps, i loved the part about long island... my homeland!

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