Monday, March 19, 2012

looking down and thinking

love,

there was an evening when we were in the car driving back from somewhere--the memory escapes me--and we started discussing our lists. the ones we made for our future mates. mine was riddled with descriptors of a man with dark eyes and a crooked half smile and a thousand other things i never knew i didn't want.

but you had only one: your wife would have pretty hands.

and though i've loved you with my core, i feel i have failed you on this.

because my hands aren't pretty. they are marred by hangnails and big cracked knuckles. when i was younger and fell in love with writing, i gripped my pencil so tightly and at such an odd angle that it left me with a permanent callus on my right ring finger. i am nervous, and bite my nails to the quick. and in the wintertime, even cold lotion from the fridge cannot turn the mountains of my joints from their crimson wash.

but there's a tan line on my left hand. from a ring never removed. that's stayed in place while i pulled weeds, cleaned our bathroom, mixed meatloaf and a million other messy things. a symbol that though my hands aren't the ones of your dreams, they are yours nonetheless.

and that has to count for something, no?

15 comments:

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Lovely.
Oddly, my husband and I were just talking about this same thing. I was listing the things I hope for in a young man for our daughter, the kind of man I think would make a good match for her. This turned to our lists from long ago. He said he just wanted a girl who wasn't emotionally whacko - ha, speaks volumes of the previous girls he dated.
I had no list except I did't want a man who hunted animals or had guns. My husband grew up bird hunting with his father and continued to do so a few times a year, he had 2 shotguns and a bird hunting dog. It didn't seem to matter, I fell for him anyway.
Then, we got robbed and his guns stolen and our dog got to old to hunt and my husband lost the passion for it, can't say this vegetarian was too disappointed with that :)

Mackenzie said...

i think this means your hands are quite pretty enough, they've been well used, well loved. :) this was truly lovely, dear.

Amber said...

I'm sure your husband thinks you have the most beautiful hands in all the world :)

Kira said...

It totally counts for something :)

I made one of those lists once as well. My husband is a few of those things (the things that matter) but otherwise the list is all wrong. Why did I think I wanted those things?

Thisisme. said...

I'm sure that counts for a lot my sweet friend! And I'm sure that Roberts loves your hands. Hugs.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

I'm sure that ring that never moves means more than pretty hands could. And perhaps he meant pretty in what you do with them more than anything else.

Ana Magdalena said...

yes, I am sure that counts for a lot...

ps: oh Jesus, I can't get enough of your writing. write a book, please.

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

This is like a chapter from a well-worn favorite novel. Maybe I love your words because they resonate so deeply inside of me...things you share sound so familiar, but seem much more beautiful coming from you. Love Love LOVE this. xo

chambanachik said...

Sweetness.

Katie Martin said...

that's lovely :)

katie
the-mindful.blogspot.com

Alana said...

I love, love, love this. Unanswered prayers. :)

Emma Frances said...

This is the sweetest thing! And I am sure he absolutely adores your hands--especially that wonderful tan line from your ring! :]

Taylor said...

I was just thinking about this. You see I tried having long nails recently for the first time in a long time. I know that pretty nails are feminine and on the list for most guys, but as soon as I cut my fingernails I felt like me again. Crazy, how such a little thing can make you feel so different.

As for on my list a strong pair of hands is extremely attractive to me. Hmmm, I'll probably end up marrying an office worker with doughy hands. Ha

ginanorma said...

Awww I can't imagine your hands aren't pretty or that your husband thinks they aren't pretty!?

I have the same callus you are speaking of on my right finger from writing, I talked about it in one of my posts or in my About Me section LOL

Such a sweet post, but what else is new?!

Cara-Mia said...

I'm sure he loves them. :)

I used to have a list too, and funny enough my husband is nothing like what my list had. But that's okay. :)

Post a Comment

thank you for stopping by! have a blessed day:)