relationship series, part two: comparisons

for part two of our relationship series, i am talking about comparisons. those nasty little nagging thoughts that bury themselves in our mind and make us think for one single second that our relationship isn't valid, special and worthy. this week, we could talk about either this or keeping the passion. be sure to check out what gina and morgan have written on these topics, and link up below!
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right now, i know about four girls my age who are waking up to the coos and sighs of a newborn.

i also know of about three men wearing business suits sitting in corner offices with a pencil holder on their desks made of faux wood. who come home with chinese takeout and greet a pretty wife dressed in a cardigan and headband.

i know of women who wear their hair in pretty side braids and put laundry up on the line when the springtime hits, running indoors to wipe their feet and kiss their husband on the mouth and make dinner. who lie on the carpet with their babies and man and play blocks while records spin.

i know couples who live in new york and walk to get hot coffee and groceries, and couples who live down the road and visit the diner in our small town weekly.

and i would be lying if i said i never compare our romance to theirs. the way i style my hair to the way she does. the way he lets his hand linger on the small of her back to the way robert’s fingers interlace my own.

do they lie in bed at night and speak into the ceiling? does he bring her hot water from the stove when her bath water cools and leave her loves notes by the dog food bowl?

what do they argue about? where does he take her where he can park the car, turn off all the lights and whisper to her this is our spot. this is ours and no one can take it from us and even when our babies have babies and we’ve forgotten each other we cannot forget this place?

the truth is, comparisons are cheap. they are always exaggerated and oftentimes pointless. they limit our ability to love ourselves and each other in that deep, guttural way that romance is supposed to be lived.

so we’re still paying rent. so we don’t belong to a country club. so we shop at food lion and not whole foods. we are us and they are them. and one is not better than the other or worse. each is an island.

and really, when  you think about it, aren’t all islands beautiful?