i need a weekend

there's something beautiful about a sky with scattered shades of gray. the way the dark melts into the white and swirls into the tree branches, naked above the telephone poles. there's also something about it that makes me want to turn on an old country song and sit in my car for a second.

this week has been a rough one. there's a nagging cold sitting dormant on my chest, and a myriad of other troubles that when spoken, or typed, look measly, but that sit on my spirit like a heavy brick.

the thing is, i am a sunny person. i invite happiness into my living room when the evening is setting in, and dance with it until morning time when the moonlight gives way to a new start and the sheets on the bed are soft and warm and all is okay. in that brief moment of waking, all is okay.

so it's been hard to admit that i've been down for the past five days. sorting and sifting through an entire week's worth of troubles and heartaches, stomping them down into tiny bricks and believing they are gone, then like those tiny washcloths that expand in water, i awake to find them larger than life.

but i have to remind myself that it is okay. okay to not be happy all the time. to be sad on occasion. to sit on the top of my unmade bed and look out at the field and watch a bird scurry across the yard and let that one moment crush me for a second.

to live the full breadth of my emotions. let each of them push its way into me. to live out my life unafraid of the hurt. because it will come, but the gladness will too. and a healthy mix of both is needed. everything in moderation. everything in stride.