to be kissed with a furrowed brow

xxx

when i was in 7th grade, i watched the movie music from another room. before jude law was scandalous, before gretchen mol was on boardwalk empire, they starred in this darling film. i remember sitting in my friend's little rec room. the lights were off and we were up way past midnight. there was a half empty popcorn bowl between us on the tiny couch, taking up elbow room and space.

and i watched as jude gave gretchen the most beautiful, heart-swelling kiss i'd ever seen. i would not be kissed until five years later. in robert's car after our third date. with the porch light on and mama waiting up inside.

thankfully, someone thought to put a little movie montage on youtube, which includes the kiss. the whole thing will give you a recap of the movie, but i suggest scrolling right to 1:44. the furrowed brow. the way he gathers her in his arms. her submission. it's the stuff dreams are made of, and hollywood rarely gets it right.

i couldn't embed it, but you can find it here.

it was the idea of that kiss that kept me waiting all through high school. it was the reason why, when i met that boy at the beach who followed me around and watched will and grace in our rented home, as he leaned in to kiss me outside the steps, i gave him a side hug. that wasn't going to be my first kiss. not like that. not with some boy named evan with terrible hair whose last name i didn't even know, who went solely by "ev dog."

every girl deserves to be kissed this way, and when it happens, it's worth the wait, as affairs of the heart usually are.