bright friday

i had good intentions, i really did.

my plan was to get up at 4 a.m. this morning to brave the black friday crowds with my mama and sister. though i'm trying to buy homemade and secondhand this christmas, i wanted that experience. of trekking to target in the dark. of starbucks at 6 a.m., shopping bags full at our chilly feet. but mainly, more than anything, i wanted to make a memory with those women so special to me. black friday was more than a crazy shopping day to me. it was a chance to create one of those "remember when" moments that i could look back on fondly.

but a few things stood in my way.

the first was a sleepover. the kind that i haven't had in a long while.

my mama spends the night with my grandpa, nanno, on tuesdays and thursdays. since his pneumonia, he has just felt more comfortable having someone in the back bedroom, in the off chance that he falls in the middle of the night or has an emergency. he has five children, three of which live within walking distance, so they just all switch off spending the night with them. last night was mama's night. since my sister is home from college for thanksgiving and we want to soak up our time with her, enjoy every second of her sweet, kind presence, we decided to make a
night of  it.

we painted nails. stayed up watching chelsea lately and talking. nanno retired early, around 10, and mama held her heavy eyelids open until around midnight, finally retreating to her childhood bedroom in her flannel pajamas and warm socks.

my sister and i, knowing that our black friday adventure was to start at 4, stayed up the entire night. on nanno's couch, we sat with our legs crossed facing each other in our pjs. for a while, we watched mindless television. then, without discussing it, we simply muted the shows and began to talk. a good, heartfelt talk like we used to have when we shared a bedroom. it made my heart smile to listen to her talk about her  life, and to share mine with her.

then 4 a.m. rolled around. we woke up mama. all three of us prepared to go shopping. and i  realized i just couldn't do it. i didn't need to. i had already made my memory that night. i had bonded with the women in my life over so much more than early bird specials. so i let them go on, and i headed back to my cottage in the dark, where i saw this:

and i knew i had made the right decision to stay home. as quietly as i could, i slipped into bed, barely waking my sweet husband and pablo. and then, just as i had spent the night with the two top women in my life, i rolled over on my side and said my prayers, thankful to spend the wee hours of the morning with my two top men.