i'm thinking i want some treats

  xxx

 
sometimes it's not enough to cry. or to vent. or to talk about it to my dog. sometimes it's not enough to think positively, read inspirational quotes or call up mama.

there are days when i just need a little pick me up. something special for only myself. a time of prayer, closed eyes and deep breaths.

last night was one of those nights. honestly, i just needed butter. i needed to soak my bread in its juice and let it run down my chin. to laugh at robert reaching for more paper towels and smile as pablo lapped it up off the floor. so i made the most succulent steak sandwiches i could find, with a butter sauce to end all butter sauces.

and today, with rain looming in the distance, it was cafe mochas. in a little coffee shop near my the post office where my dad works. with the room bathed in noon light, and shade trees beside the window. my bible spread open on the worn wooden table, my hands wrapped around a hot paper cup. whipped cream on my nose after each sip.

we're worth it, you know.

worth those extra treats. those sinfully delicious concoctions. because the truth is, they're not sinful at all. they are blessings and, in moderation, perfect.

so last night i indulged, and today as well. i might or might not tomorrow. but i believe that God met me there today, in that room, and smiled as i leaned my head down toward the foam and prayed, whispered up an offering beside a chatty group of women and what i believe to be a couple on their first date.

i looked around, with only minutes left on my lunch break. at everyone doing the exact same thing as me. chilling out. reading. playing music. drinking tea and crumbling muffins on their plates.

taking the moment to release, before picking back up on their day. finding a minute of recluse to recharge. a multitude of angels in the middle of the afternoon. reminding me that work is good, but so is play, and both are right. so, so right.