just fine

 

it's funny how one thing can undo me.

how coffee loses its taste and the sunrise loses its brilliance when clouded.

i've got a presentation today. a short, no-longer-than-three-minutes-please little impromptu speech.

and i've practiced. for robert. for pablo (who provided lots of constructive criticism), and for my co-workers.and i drove to work in the dark this morning, praying for an elusive confidence the whole time.

i was born nervous, to a nervous father. i'm reminded every time i skirt the telephone or think up another word to replace the one not quite out of my mouth.

so i will drive. to the big city two hours away. with my sweet sister in tow and hope against all odds that the fluency fairy will visit at approximately 6:15 p.m.

prayers, happy thoughts, well wishes, good vibes, please?

thank you.

via

gratitude

 xxx
if the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice. 

-Meister Eckhart

changes were thrown at me yesterday. a little academic mixup turned threw my world on its axis and spun me around 180 degrees. and i was lost. i spent hours on the computer trying to salvage something. trying to piece together the broken fragments that spilled out from the screen and burned my eyes. i went to bed defeated and broken.

but then something remarkable happened.

the sun rose again. the morning came. His mercies were renewed. 

and i sat on the white glider in the wee hours, homemade afghan wrapped around my nightgown, hands wrapped around a coffee mug. and i breathed in the air. the kind of freshness that only 6 a.m. can bring. 

and i was thankful. for these challenges, stepping stones, and boulders. because i can handle them. not alone of course, but through the help of the One who led me down this course in the first place. before a heartache can reach me, before stresses and blunders can poke their way through, they have to go through His hands. and there are none other i'd rather be in. especially when my own are shaking.