Wednesday, February 6, 2013

on marriage and friendship

 hey guys! i'm teaming with gina from contemplating beauty and morgan from mama loves papa for another marriage series! this week's topic; marriage and friendship.
 only a true friend would do this with me. bless his heart.
the first time i spoke to robert face-to-face was on our first date. he was wearing a buttercup yellow polo and had just washed his dad's car. his hair was combed to the side and my entire family was waiting in the den for him to come pulling into the driveway. he shook my dad's hand and my mama jokingly grilled him on a scandalous story she'd heard. something about his rolling a house. and putting a lawn mower on a roof. and driving the slowest and easiest-to-recognize getaway vehicle possible: a volkswagen vanagon.

i didn't know him at all. didn't know how he liked his steak, or what he did after school. didn't know that he had a brother and that his father was a pastor. i didn't know that he had an affinity for instrumental piano music and was a highly decorated boy scout.

but i learned those things. i learned all of them over the course of our dinner date. and i've kept learning.

sometimes (quite often, actually), i turn to robert and say, "i think it would have been cool if we were friends first. like, just hanging out together, then one day, you looked at me and saw the woman you'd been searching for." instead, it was full-blown romance, from day one. case in point: all his friends call him rob, or robbie, but i absolutely can't. not for the life of me.

but right up there with romance and kisses and butterflies and stars, there is a rock-solid friendship between us now. because there has to be. you have to actually like the person you're married to, as crazy as that might sound. because love is truly magical and life-changing, but there's something to be said about just laughing with him. sitting in a room watching the bachelor on a monday night, not even really speaking, but just being truly, completely comfortable in the weight of a dark room together. saturday lunch dates. secret handshakes.

so yes, we didn't start out as friends, but it's been a heck of a journey learning this man, and finding that after all, our souls are the same, and that's a constant truth. one that was born the day we were. and every stumbling block, heartbreak, rude boy, ridiculous girl, and question we ever had led him to my doorstep on august 30, 2003. and BFF was just a natural progression from there:)

what are your thoughts on relationships and friendships? any tips? do share! 


chambanachik said...

Loved this, and I'm so glad you guys are doing more marriage posts together! I eat them up.

Gina Norman said...

isn't that interesting and beautiful that you didn't start out as friends, but now that is one of the basis of your marriage!! I love this story, it's a God one Courtney. I adore that you used the word LEARNed!! Totally, I'm in school now to be a marriage and family therapist, and everything is about mindfulness and learning--re-learning.

Cute story, thanks for sharing!!!

Hanna said...

Hi Courtney! I'm hanna! I'm stopping by from Morgans blog!! I adore this series and love hearing about others peoples marriages. I just started writing our love story. I think marriage takes a lot of intentional work which I never knew going into it! My husband and I were best friends for 7 years before ever dated romantically so there were no surprises. This can be good and bad both. Of course the grass is always greener but I'm so happy I married my best friend as now that is what gets us through the really rough times I think. Great post. Love your blog:) nice meeting you!!

Eleanor at Mirror Of My World said...

this is so lovely. you sound like you have such a happy marriage :) xxx

beka said...

ahhhh i just love this.
"...but there's something to be said about just laughing with him. sitting in a room watching the bachelor on a monday night, not even really speaking..."

so beautiful. i can't wait to see how justin and my friendship-romance-turning-to-marriage-in-may grows over the months and years... :)

jackie said...

So sweet. Being BFF's with your husband is the best thing ever.

Ben and I were friends for a school year before anything happened, but we weren't close at all. It wasn't until one fateful road trip that we were both like oh... and then the best friendship and romance came all at once.

annaKristianne said...

Dearest Courtney,

Your blog is BEATIFUL just as you are! I love to read your writings--they always touch my heart.

Today, I finally mailed you a little card along with my belated Christmas card that I meant to send to you way before Christmas.

You continue to be such a blessing in my life, and I love you, my dear, dear friend and sister in Christ!

Love and prayers,


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