that's not what ships are built for

 xxx

i could have walked five feet and touched the highway sign. ran my cold fingers along the green metal and traced the I-40 east marker. i was that close when it happened.

my tire blew on the way to work yesterday. just exploded out of nowhere. just a second past the school zone and before the interstate. had i left our house 30 seconds earlier, it would have blown while i was traveling seventy miles per hour, in the middle lane. between truckers and corporate executives barreling down the road on the way to work.

instead, i was thrust onto the grassy shoulder of the country road, my car shaking violently. i managed to stop it. an hour later, it was towed away to the repair shop, and i was safe and warm in robert's van, thanking God for a man who is capable and calm under pressure, an eagle scout if i ever saw one.

but it shook me up. and scared me. and made me take the long way to work today, avoiding the highway. and it had me praying harder and sending more whispered thank yous up to heaven.

because things just happen sometimes. new tires burst. buildings collapse. someone gets a phone call at three in the afternoon that changes his life. we never know what each day holds. what glorious blessings or awful tragedies. but the fear cannot be crippling. it must be the force that propels. that pushes us to love harder and longer. forgive quicker. and think smarter before speaking.

to run headfirst into the burden of chance. the risk of driving down the road or flying in the plane. i'll get back in the highway soon, i'm sure. but for now, i'm enjoying the cornfields and rural neighborhoods that the long way provides. but we weren't made for the harbor, i know that much. we were made for the sail.