Friday, December 23, 2011

a christmas card and a prayer


on the way to work this morning, i thought about baby Jesus. about little chubby fingers. about flushed cheeks. the way babies smell. about a tired mama and a proud papa. about hay bales and donkeys and night stars and the cold. then i thought about the cross on the hill and i couldn't bring myself to think about it anymore and had to turn on a pop song.

my heart aches for what mary didn't fully know. my spirit crumbles to pieces when i think about swaddling a savior. because it's all so tortuously beautiful. and sad and sweet and precious and wild. i pray that this realization never leaves me. that i feel just as impacted on a pretty thursday evening in the spring, under the shade trees in the front of the house with my arm under robert, as i do this morning, two days before christmas. that the knowledge of the blessing sticks to my ribs, sustaining me on nights spent kneeling and mornings spent over the coffee pot.

it's a comfortable life, typically. there are sunrises and twilights. there are hands held across wooden tables and  pillows that smell of summer. there are children laughing on hilltops and dogs with wet noses to greet us at the close of the day.

but to have this? to achieve this unspeakable beauty? it took one incredible sacrifice. but before all that. before the nails and the beating. before the crown of thorns and the bleeding.

there was one incredible birth.

25 comments:

jennifer blair said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family! :)

mary kate said...

Merry Christmas Courtney! Your christmas card is so adorable!

Kelly said...

Merry Christmas!

the southern hostess said...

So precious and beautiful. Thanks for writing and sharing! Merry Christmas to you and Robert!

Thisisme. said...

Lovely post my friend, and I love the Christmas Card that you have posted for us all today. I wish you, Robert and Pablo a very joyous and blessed Christmas.

Emily said...

beautiful! all of it really. It reminds me of the song "how many kings", we are so blessed! Enjoy your Christmas and I hope it is blessed!

Holli said...

Merry Christmas!! This was beautiful :)

Ana Magdalena said...

Ahh what a beautiful way of narrating the Savior's birth.
Merry Christmas!

Amber said...

Merry Christmas to you and your cute little family!

Jennifer Rod said...

So wonderfully written Courtney!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.

chambanachik said...

Gorgeous. Merry Christmas!!

Erin said...

You three are too sweet :) I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! :)

Shalyn said...

Sacrifice is right. The birth of the savior is so staggeringly beautiful to think about- thanks for putting the beauty in more eloquent words:-)And that is a BEAUTIFUL card!

Bibi said...

Beautiful post, your words capture me a new with every post of yours.

Have a blessed and Merry Christmas!

jennifer blair said...

I loved this! I wish I could have been there on that nigh! Merry Christmas to you!

Suz and Allan said...

Beautiful post! Merry Christmas to you guys!

Cara-Mia said...

Wonderful.

Merry Christmas. :)

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

What beautiful thoughts. It's a little sad what we don't know, sometimes what we do. It's all a good reminder to hold moments and loved one close while you can. Happy Christmas, Courtney. And thank you so much for the birthday wish on Thursday.

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

wishing you all the joys of the season Courtney! very sweet family portrait & card - LOVE IT. your sentiments, as always, are deeply profound and incredibly touching. i remember playing with my Moms nativity set as a little girl and i loved running my fingers over the mossy top of the stable and rocking baby Jesus in his crib...not to mention all the animals in the manger, they had the most gentle eyes. always soothed me to know each Christmas i would be reminded of the story and could act it out in the spirit of love.

i hope santa is good to you :) wishing you a lovely christmas filled with lots of love, health and happiness! many blessings. xoox ♥

Niina - It seems pretty obvious. said...

Merry Christmas to you too! Hope you're having a nice weekend!

//Niina

ALWAYS IN LOVE said...

Merry Christmas! I hope it was super spectacular and warm and quiet. Looking forward to more adventures in 2012. See you then!

Erin {pughs' news} said...

All your recent posts have been just lovely. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Courtney.

God bless us, every one.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

ginanorma said...

Oh yes, one incredible birth, I love your post, and merry christmas!

also, this might sound lame of me, but b/c i look up to you in many ways, writing being one of them, i'd love it and appreciate it so much if you could look at my Bethlehem post and give me your feedback, or let me know what ya think....
i hope your christmas was beautiful, cuuuuutie card!!!
xo gina

Mike said...

you and your husband look prefect for each other. The dog is a great bonus to your already beautiful family.

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