Wednesday, November 23, 2011

i will be sweet for you


around eleven, he wrestled me onto the couch. my bangs hot with the feel of a house warmed with oil heat. it was dark and the lamp made our shadows dance on the whitewashed, wooden walls. his face was close and he told me, i love how sweet you are. i smiled with my eyes and kissed him, thinking about all that word encompasses: sweet.

and i promise you dear, i will be sweet for you. i will greet you at the doorstoop at six in the evening when your collar is wrinkled and your hands smell of copper. i will let you gather me in your arms, and lead you into the kitchen. and likewise, i will wave to you in the mornings as i pull out of the gravel drive, your face getting smaller and smaller as i get closer to the cornfields.

i will be sweet in the afternoons, calling you to check in from that cafe i love to frequent during my lunch break. i will send you texts, not sexts, because i am a lady. and i will leave you lipstick messages on the mirror on your birthday.

but there is a line, i believe. between sweet and sugary. there is a threshold there. a sacred, delicate, whisper-thin line that can easily be traversed if one is not dilligent. i promise to be salty sometimes, too. i will challenge you, call you out, and, only because i love you and sometimes this happens with people you love, i will disappoint you. make you sad. i may shout out sarcasm in a fit of rage or go to bed in silence, whispering i love you in my lowest tone only because i hate going to bed mad. and i'll mean it, mind you. but that doesn't mean i won't hold a grudge. or give you the silent treatment. or ignore your calls the next day.

yes, i will be sweet. i can't help it. i come from the south, and a good family. and i will love you to the ends of this earth and after. but everything needs a counter, and the salt will inevitebly seep in. but just ride it out. and, if you can, appreciate the difference. the wholesome, satisfying, balanced meal of my love that will feed you, sustain you, and nourish you. long after the sugar buzz wears off.

24 comments:

Thisisme. said...

Beautiful piece of writing for us today dear friend. Love always jumps out of every line that you write, and it makes my heart glad! I know that you will love your Robert until the ends of the earth and after, but, as you say, you have to have the salt sometimes to really appreciate the sweet. Wishing you and your family a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.

Christi said...

You are fabulous.

Blondie's Journal said...

This is just beautiful, Courtney! You and Robert have such a wonderful relationship...it's good to know exactly what you give to him in the truest way.

Wishing you both a wonderful Thanksgiving!

XO,
Jane

Christina said...

love this! Happy Thanksgiving!

Ashley said...

Your writing is BEYOND INCREDIBLE. You sucked me right in with your genuine depictions of real love. So happy to have found your blog!

Lindsay said...

This is such a wonderful piece. It makes my heart melt and remember those delicate moments loved ones share.

Justina F. Lee said...

This is beautiful. An authentic and genuine love.

Amber Blue Bird said...

beautiful as always. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Nicole said...

Beautiful!

Kristen said...

I loved reading this!

Jennifer Rod said...

amazing!!!! sigh. loved it.

Kristina said...

This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

Emily said...

love this as always :) such a beautiful picture of you and your hubby

chambanachik said...

Oh, Courtney, to have your way with words. :) Truly sweet.

Holli said...

Oh how I love this post!

Paula said...

It's been a while btw visits. But when I'm here there is always something rich to savour. I read this post twice, as I always do with a beautifully written piece. It pours and flows, Courtney. You've an amazing writing talent xx

Cara-Mia said...

I love this so much, I'm saving it. There definitely needs to be a balance.

And I love that you say I love you even though you're mad.

Ana Magdalena said...

Posts like this one are the reason why I missed reading your blog so much. I can't wait until the semester is over, and I can read each one of them on a daily basis.

Janette said...

Your writing stinks. Yup. I don't like it one bit!!! There I said it: Words that you will never hear...or read.. Cause anyone who would say that is a liar or illiterate... Your posts are spectacular and glorious.. and I see God's handiwork here... I love seeing how He blesses people with certain talents..and how, in turn, those talents are used... Some use their talents for evil (unfortunately) yet you use your talents to the greatest capacity...You use your words to highlight life's beautiful, God-given moments.. Gifts that are often overlooked or under-appreciated. Life. Love. Faith. Hope. With your words, you make sure we don't miss them either... Love your blogaroo Courtney! ♥♥


Janette, the Jongleur

PS. Hope that all made sense.

Janette, the Jongleur

wildchild said...

holy cow, am i glad i found you. you write beautifully and so honestly and purely. thankful meg linked her blog to yours today.

Lottie said...

This is me...totally me. I remember when I was younger I tried to be different but I am sweet and that is always where I come back to although sometimes I might be stubborn, contradictory, and frustrating.

Found your blog today and I love it...I love how you write its beautiful!

Taylor said...

So so pretty. True words. No one wants someone who is always sugary sweet, now do they?

kate said...

this is everything a love letter should encompass. honest, true, and full of passionate love. i absolutely adore this. robert is a lucky man to have you :)

becky said...

I love this. Everything--EVERYTHING--about it. x

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