Friday, June 24, 2011
the bed's too big, the frying pan's too wide
robert left this morning to spend a weekend with his cousin in virginia.
as i left the house, driving away on the gravel road washed me with a memory. back when he was in college and i was still in high school. he used to come home every weekend on the train, and every sunday around three, i would walk outside with him, kiss him goodbye, and prepare to face another week of being eighteen without him. i would envision his fabulous life in college, and in my head, all the girls in college were buxom blonds in tiny shorts and tinier tops. it was quite an awful (and incredibly inaccurate) picture that i painted.
i felt that again this morning.
and it's not that i'm clingy. i love, trust and adore him enough to let him leave for a few days. i just don't prefer it, that's all. and i don't quite know what to do with the next few days. there's suddenly a whole weekend in front of me to fill, and, without the promise of our friday movie night and sleeping in on saturday and walking under the country stars, it just seems a little daunting to tackle it all by myself.
that last line i just wrote reminded me of celine dion's classic rendition of "all by myself," which is exactly the wrong type of song to have in my head right now. alas. at least there are no buxom blonds where he's headed.