Thursday, May 19, 2011

letting go


we did it. we found homes for all the kittens. the first two left last weekend. unexpectedly, as i was handing them off to the sweet older woman down the road, tears welled up and i couldn't even look at her. i turned away and placed the little bodies into her arms. the last two leave this weekend.

and i can't tell you why i cried. it's just that, for two weeks, these babies were mine. entrusted to me. and i couldn't keep them. but i never thought it would be so hard to watch them leave.

no more midnight runs to the shed, with the light glowing in the darkness, and rubbing furry bellies. no more tails between my toes and little finger licks.

my goodness. am i ever going to be a basket case when dropping my firstborn off at college. i'll probably handle it like my mama, and hold it together in the dorm room. in front of the potluck roommate stranger. in front of dusted laptops and pencil holders. new comforters and laughter down the long hall.

but as soon as i get in the car with robert, i will undoubtedly lose it. and that's okay. it means i felt it. that tangible sense of loss. and to not feel it would be so much worse.

'tis the cycle of life i suppose. 'tis the beautiful, hectic, heartbreaking, gorgeous cycle of life.

16 comments:

Ana* said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ana* said...

Congratulations on finding homes for the kitties. If there's something I have learn is that letting go is never easy, even if you know it's the best for both parties involved

DaisyGirl said...

I kind of know how you feel with the kittens. I had to give up a puppy once that I just couldn't care for and the minute I walked in to give him away, I literally broke down. And I DO NOT cry in public. I shocked myself...not to mention the poor lady I was talking to. Once something or somebody walks into your life, they immediately make a home there that is hard to allow to be vacated.

Lillian (Unstitched.) said...

Awww, that is so bittersweet. It's great that you've found the kittens new homes, but it's always hard to say goodbye, isn't it? That truly is the way of life - as much as we wish we could stop time and keep people/things/moments forever, it never happens that way...and that's what we've got to learn how to accept. With grace.

Thisisme. said...

Aaaw! It's always hard to say goodbye, especially to such little furry cuties! At least be thankful that they have gone to loving homes. (I expect they will miss you though!!).

Amber Blue Bird said...

goodbyes are never easy but at least they are going to good homes. Maybe you can even visit them down the road

Shalyn said...

At least two of them are close! Sorry you have to let them go...:-(

Amylou said...

Sorry sorry girl, but I'm glad they found good homes!!!

Jillian said...

My my how I love when I get the opportunity to catch up on your blog. I simply love your style. Everything about your candor and honest simplicity just inspires me!

Anna said...

I remember when mom (Mrs. Koenen) and I found a cat crying in our backyard. We took care of it for over a month and named the cat, Lilly, though both of us are severely allergic to cats. Lilly was such an affectionate cat. But eventually we had to let her go. We could not even talk about her for days... Letting go is hard. But when I have to let go of something, I realize what that--whatever I had to let go of--meant in my life.
I am sorry you are feeling sad.
Thank you for sharing! I am a big fan of your blog and writing =).

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

that is too sweet, you probably will cry when your child goes off to Kindergarten. hehehe.

A Serenade for Solitude said...

Yes, indeed. It is the very cycle of life. I'm coming up on my first breakdown, in fact. I send my firstborn off to kindergarten in under three months! Sad, exciting, new. I think I'll hold it together as you've said, and cry a bit after she runs into her classroom.

I also want to thank you for your sweet, sweet comment this morning! It warmed my heart. :) I look forward to future exchange!

Cassie

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

That's so good that you found homes for them. It is really sad to give things up, even if it is for the best.

McKinley said...

Awww I would cry too! I wish I could have had one! I love that you care so much for animals! I would do the same thing, and I am glad someone else would care for such precious little creatures!

I bet they are so thankful for all that you two have done!

Jennifer said...

Aw, I would be so sad to give those little cuties away. :( I've had to do that before.

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

i would have been a mess, you are so good to withstand the sadness of passing them through to good homes. so bittersweet, this cycle is, you're right. many blessings. xo ♥

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