Wednesday, March 9, 2011

a working girl can't win

"she was simply a pencil, scratching, pausing, picking her way down an obscure page. she liked her fate."

i'll never be her.

the glistening girl in the office. with the fashionable high-waisted slacks, pressed jacket and perfectly ruffled blouse. and oh how i want to be. how i shop to be.

but the truth is, i'm the girl in the yellow tights. who drinks too much coffee and sweats over phone conversations.with mousy brown hair and a face not for bangs. who lives not to be in the limelight, but behind it. armed with my red editing pen and stacks of papers. my excel spreadsheets glaring at me from behind a glared screen. i'm comfortable there, and happy too. but i have dreams. oh boy do i have dreams.

and i will achieve them. not in the conference room. not over the telephone.

but in that little corner office, with windows all around. bathed in early morning sunlight and the glow of late afternoon sunsets. where my bible sits on top of my business cards. yes, i will see the desire and ambition of my heart. on the merit of my work and the dedication of my mind. through time and patience, time and patience.

because i swirl hazelnut creamer into my corporate coffee every morning, and as it warms my bones i look around. at this little chunk of space that's mine.

and for a moment i smile. because as much as i can never be her, she can never be me.

25 comments:

Larri said...

Beautiful! You know...I always wanted to be a 'city' girl until I actually visited the city. That's when I realized small town life was more for me and where God wanted me.

Happy Wednesday friend! :o)

Debbie said...

Lovely! i really enjoyed that.

Brandi said...

I'd much rather be the type of woman you are than the other one who shops her way to success. Mine will come with hard work and creativity. There may be some sparkling in the light involved too, but the sparkle will be from who I am, not what I've got on.

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

I love this! Great before work inspiration.

Tiq said...

This is very inspiring. Love it !

Anonymous said...

love it!

Dee Paulino said...

"as much as i can never be her, she can never be me. " - I love this line!

jeanette from everton terrace said...

That was, as it so often is here, perfection.

Southhamsdarling said...

Good post, and I love that last sentence "as much as I can never be her, she can never be me." Very profound!! You just carry on being who you are - we all love you!

LittleSilkDress said...

I agree with Ana. "As much as I can never be her, she can never be me." Insightful and so true. Embrace who you are and love it. Clothes with a pricey tag do not a successful or genuine person make.

My other favorite line: "who drinks too much coffee and sweats over phone conversations." Let's just say I can totally relate. Thought I was the only one sweating over talking on the phone. Especially with complete strangers.

charla beth said...

this is perfect.

that last line is filled with pure beauty and truth.

love this post!

Nicki said...

I love this post (as I love all the posts you write). The last line was just beautiful! Can you please write a book, dear?!

Jessica said...

So very inspiring!!!

Unknown said...

The type of woman that you are is a wonderful type of woman. Just be yourself because that's the awesome version of you!

PS - I've given you a sweet blog award because every single post you write is absolutely sweet!

Rebecca said...

brilliant love the last line so perfectly said

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

I do wish I that I had the same wonderful gift of words that you possess. You can really paint a picture, lady. :)

Ashley said...

Very beautiful words. And I would always choose yellow tights over high-waisted slacks.

Amber said...

i love your writing, i hope you never stop. :)

stop by and enter my giveaway

b. lee said...

that's right, miss sweet lady! the beginning of ur words took me to a "mad men" place ... then dropped me off at a sweet cafe, sipping tea & reading poetry ~ ~

Jane said...

Ah, Courtney - so lyrical. You clearly relish your writing. J x

Anonymous said...

beautifully written :)

the southern hostess said...

This feels like a breath of fresh air today. Thank you.

kate said...

love this!

Debbie said...

I'm so sorry for the typo on my blog this morning. Must have been the sleepy's taking over late last night. I corrected it - thanks for letting me know.

Peaches said...

I TOTALLY love this. I love reading your writing.

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