but this time was different. he was texting me from a little diner two hours away. with his girlfriend of two years. that afternoon, they were going to tour chapel hill and look at colleges.
and i thought to myself, since when did he become old enough to drive two hours away from home? or have a girlfriend of two years? or what's bigger--tour colleges?
the transient nature of time was manifested for me in that simple text message. the same little brother i watched play t-ball, then middle school basketball, then join the high school golf team, will forever be just that--my little brother. just like my sister, who just finished her first semester in college, will always be the girl i shared a bedroom with. who aped my every action and trusted me enough to cut her bangs for the first time. the fact that these tiny souls are morphing into adults--and beautiful, stable, smart, kind adults at that--baffles and humbles me.
so i was sitting there last night. black high heels still halfway on my tired toes, dangling mere inches above the wood floor. robert and pablo were still on their way home and for the moment, it was just me. in my own little house. with soup boiling on the stove and laundry spinning loudly in the wash. i had the blinds cracked and every few minutes, a car would come rolling down our country road. i was home. i was 23. i was married. and i was wearing work clothes.
i went to go see mama and dad last night and i'm sure they wondered the same thing about me. when did this happen? when did our little girl start dating? graduate college? get married?
sometimes the cycle of life scares me to the bone. i create a bubble of routine to force it away. but it creeps in. it has to.
i'm reminded when i look at my sister. her bangs have been replaced by face-framing layers. she went through an oversized t-shirt phase in elementary school (who didn't?). now, she's all glamor and beauty in her black tights and scarf.
and i'm reminded when i get texts from my brother miles away. traveling through space and time.
but maybe most of all, i'm reminded when i look down at my hands typing this post.
my wedding ring.
my little reminder that yes, people i love will grow up.
but i'm still growing too.
and as long as i've got these folks around,
my sweet sister and brother
i wouldn't for a minute change the place i'm in.