Thursday, December 23, 2010

ladybugs and light

i stayed home sick from work yesterday. i woke up with a scratchy throat, heavy head and a pile of blankets that beckoned to me from behind my bedroom doors. so i just did it. gave myself a day just for me. i nursed my cold with hot wassail, plenty of tissues, and all the E! news i could fit in. 

and i tried, with the little strength i could muster, to be somewhat productive. to wrap that pile of presents hibernating in my closet. to get started on my christmas grocery list. to order my textbooks for grad school next semester.

but for some reason, no matter how busy i felt, nothing was accomplished. do you ever have that feeling? when you're so super busy, just puttering around, that you don't do anything of substance? my whole day was spent doing menial, thoughtless tasks that by the time evening rolled around, i felt just as crummy as when i woke up. it should be noted that i also feel incredibly guilty when i miss work, even if it's for a legitimate reason like being sick. i don't know why, but it just makes me feel unhelpful, and i come from a long line of women who show love by helping and giving.

to top it off, we have a bit of a ladybug problem in the cottage. when the temperature begins to dip and we  turn our oil heat on, the little buggers gravitate toward the warmth and the light from inside--a refuge from the chill with plenty of fun windowsills to crawl over. for a while, i've brushed it off. ladybugs are supposed to be good luck, so what can a few hurt? but yesterday it was just about too much, and i resorted to picking them up and taking them outside. 

i had the blinds pulled up all over the cottage so i could get to them better.

then i saw it. when i was putting on my moccasins in the bedroom. the sun was setting. and a ray of light washed in from the living room. i looked at it, then tried to keep on tying my shoes. but i couldn't. i couldn't look away for the life of me. i felt a pull, a real, live tug, in the direction of the light. so i followed it. with my shoes half on, i walked into the den and saw it. my entire little cottage was bathed in light. the windows were naked, their blinds pulled up from my ladybug capturing spree. as a result, the light was that much more brilliant. 

and there's nothing more beautiful than a living room awash with sunset. everything was illuminated with a romantic, soft glow that i can't attach words to. i sat there on the sofa and let it hit me square between the eyes. and i felt the Holy Spirit in that room. and i realized, for all i did that day, i had put my Savior last. i had filled my hours with computer work, checking e-mail, and watching television that i almost forgot to give thanks, pray and reflect. no wonder nothing was accomplished.

so i did just that. like the ladybugs, i gravitated toward the light.and i prayed as i felt it. just as sure as i felt the suede around my ankles. i felt the sweet reassurance that tomorrow would be a better day. everything would be accomplished in due time. peace rushed over me.

and like the ladybugs, i was saved.


Casey said...

How special! :) I totally believe in holiday miracles, and it's wonderful that you got to encounter one firsthand!

Hope that you are feeling better today, and have a Very Merry Christmas!!!


Shalyn said...

I love the comparison of the ladybugs. And I especially love how you got back to basics by the end of the day. Beautiful. Merry Christmas!

Dawn said...

What a beautiful post. And a nudging as well....sounds like my days which always are spent running in all the wrong directions.
Thank you for this. It was a beautiful reminder.
(Hope you're feeling better today!!)

Ana* said...

Give thanks, pray and reflect. I absolutely love this. oh, and the correlation with the ladybugs? That's just brilliant my dear :)

Laura Darling said...

I absolutely love this. It's beautiful and really puts things into persepective. I hope you're feeling better today!

s y n d e e said...

Great post! I have days like this too, I lay around all day, watch e! or daytime tv & just VEG! Its easy to feel guilty but I think we all need that one day at least once a month:) love the ladybug comparison. They brought you luck AND sunshine, my faves! Haha hope you're feeling better and Happy Holidays!!!

jillian m. said...

i woke up sick yesterday, too! but unlike you, i did go to work...and it was miserable. feel even sicker today, but i'm just trying to keep in mind that it could be worse!

happy holidays!

Peaches said...

This is a lovely post dear! I think I know which sunlight you're talking about and it captivates me too. Whether I'm driving or on a run, I'll see the beautiful sun rays shining down on the earth and it is hard not to feel peace and beauty.

And I agree with Ana, the comparison to the lady bugs - excellent. =)

Jude said...

I love the ladybugs and this post is just beautiful! Hope you're feeling much better, dear! Not sure of my internet access after today, but wishing you the loveliest holiday and New Year's! May it be filled with good QT among loved ones, great food and well-deserved R&R! :)

Blondie's Journal said...

I love the ladybug metaphor. We get them at our home in Michigan quite a bit, too in the winter. They come from the farms where they are used during the summer to catch the 'bad bugs'! So they are little helpers as well!

Happy Holidays!


lindsay said...

what a beautiful and special encounter. this is just lovely in so many ways :) thank you for sharing this wonderful story.

i wish you well and above all wish you a very special holiday!


Ashley said...

How beautiful, touching, and truly special. God is good.

Hope you are feeling much better today.

Amber Blue Bird said...

I used to love catching ladybugs when I was younger. They are just so pretty but I can see how a lot of them in your home would be a nuisance. Hope you feel better soon and theres always tomorrow...cue Annie theme song and sing along :)

Haley K said...

that is one gorgeous piece of writing. Sorry about the lady bug problem...but maybe all of that good luck can help you get better sooner! :) And I've had days where I put the little "important" things first, and realized I needed to give some of my time to Christ first...the day always goes smoother after that :)

Amy said...

You are such an incredible writer. I hope you never get tired of me telling you that, because I just can't tell you enough. You totally gave me a mental image of a room just draped in the most beautiful light.
And darling, lady bugs are good luck ;) So lucky you!
I hope your day today is much better. You deserve all of the best days!
Love to you,
And Happy Christmas!

nicole ...given said...

psh... how could lady bugs be a problem! haha!

Jeska said...

Thanks for sharing :) Beautiful. Hope you're feeling better, Merry Christmas!

Jessica said...

Ladybugs are everywhere in the spring where I live! Great story however. ;)

Merry Christmas!

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