Monday, November 29, 2010

a bedtime revelation

a revelation hit me while turning down the bed last night.

well, i wouldn't quite call it a revelation as much as a realization.

in the middle of untucking the sheets and pulling back the blankets, i turned to robert and said, "think about the years between ages 10 and 20, and how long of a span that seems--how many milestones and changes you go through. now think about 20 to 30. we're almost halfway there. it doesn't feel nearly as long, does it?"

i thought about the decade encapsulating my teenage years like an old movie playing backward. in one scene, my first birthday in the double digits. what a spectacle we made out of that. in the next, a sequence of firsts--first car, first job, first date, first kiss, first love, first graduation. first time leaving home. it seemed that from 10 to 20, my life was composed of so many gigantic milestones. i sat down on the edge of the bed and pondered my twenties. of course there are big steps. but not as frequent as my younger years. from now on, it seems as though the milestones will be few and far between. marriage. jobs. pets. children.

but like the grapes i got last night at the grocery store, these milestones are also big. and sweet. they are precious and monumental. i believe God throws so many epochs at us when we're younger because in reality, those periods are just preparing us for now. i'm so glad that present life moves at a slower pace than before. i can savor these special moments now because i appreciate them more. i turned to robert and told him what i was thinking. without missing a beat, he said, nothing is static. everything is always changing. years from now, we'll look back on this time, just you and me and our little life, and we'll think about all the big changes that happened, though we didn't recognize them as big at the time.

so maybe life now isn't a chain of huge steps. maybe, just maybe, it's the simple comfort of relishing the tiny victories. the day pablo learned his first trick. the birthday i got my front porch swing. the first day i discovered i could make cheesecake in the crockpot.

it's the little things now, more than ever, that i'm learning to appreciate. and it's sweet to know that robert--who was there for my first kiss at 16--is cherishing these new moments too. and right now, there's a mug of spiced cider warming my hands, the sunshine peeking through half-open blinds, and a heater running at my feet and it is enough. in fact, it is beautiful.


pacific coast highway--october 2010

23 comments:

Jude said...

Oh how very beautiful. I believe that too - everything that gets thrown at us when we're younger is a prelude and preparation for the even more important stuff to come. It's true, maybe the milestones are further and far apart, but they are monumental all the same. And I love that we never stop learning no matter our life phase (I consider myself a constant work in progress :)).

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving and wishing you a terrific week ahead!

lindsay said...

such a beautiful post again lovely lady. i can completely understand the thought of how many milestones we encounter between the ages of 10-20 and then looking at age 20-30 it doesn't seem like as much is going on...but possibly looking back 20 years from now we will look at things much differently.

the way you put things into perspective is absolutely wonderful...you really open my mind to new things and i truly appreciate that about you :) thank you!

jessica.adams said...

Once again, a post that makes me speechless.
Oh and cheesecake in the crockpot?? Never heard of it, but definitely a must-try!!

Ana* said...

You are lovely. I have been thinking about life transitions way too much lately. The thought of change scares me but the realization of smaller changes and a slower phased life gives me hope. It feels good to know life won't always be as fast phased as it is now.

Thanks for sharing my friend!!

elise said...

Your writing is beautiful and your perspective is touching. I'm so happy to have such a fabulous new blog to follow.

Also, I'm going to need that cheesecake in a crock pot recipe. Share? :)

grace said...

please tell us more about cheesecake in a crockpot......

vintch said...

hi lovely ladies:)

here is the fabulous cheesecake in the crockpot recipe. it is super fabulous:

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/07/crockpot-cheesecake-recipe.html

beware: this web site is amazing and you will want to spend copious amounts of time perusing her recipes:)she used her crockpot every day for a year, so you know what that means...365 awesome recipes! she's still blogging too:)

Christi said...

GREAT picture. And wonderful post. Definitely savor these little steps, just you, Robert, and Pablo. Once you have kids, time starts flying by all over again, this time based on watching your little ones experience everything you did in those earlier years.

Blondie's Journal said...

This is so beautiful. I agree with Robert, someday we will realize that all the small things were big.
.

XO,
Jane

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

love this post- It is all just tiny moments- My husband and I have been married for ten years (and two months) and I seriously feel like it was yesterday that he was my bf- our monkeys are getting so much bigger- I don't have babies anymore and yet it was just yesterday that I was changing diapers.

Signe said...

Aaw, such a lovely post! And how amazing that you two are still together after all these years!

Hugs,
Signe

Amber Blue Bird said...

this is a beautiful post and you are able to capture your feelings in a way that I only wish I could. I feel the same way, I am about to turn 27 (holy crap) but I now feel content and like I really have everything I need. Little things matter more now and the milestones ahead of me just make me smile.

Young People in Love said...

So true. Also, i'm obsessed with the pacific coast highway. Just sayin. ;)

the chirpy bird said...

Oh I'm loving your blog! I agree, so many major milestones when you're a teen, but then again, I've had so many major growth experiences and milestones in my 20's too... Perhaps even more now than in my teens... It's all good and a necessary part of my story but boy oh boy I can't wait for things to quieten down.. No one ever said that growing pains were easy!
xox tash

Amy said...

Oh wow. What a thing to think about. I know that just within the past year, my life has changed so much. It's been a lot of back and forth, but that's life sometimes. Wonderful post, very insightful friend :)

ms. elisabeth said...

i absolutely love this.

Nicole said...

Oh I loved this post. Thanks so much for sharing what was honestly on your heart. I love what your sweetie said about not noticing hte big changes while we're going through them right now. It's so true. It's only in retrospect--when we compare them to the way past and the present, that we can see the changes.

Enjoy the little things in life, dearie--the extra sweet fruit, the hand-holding, the warm and fuzzy blanket, the encouraging conversation, the smile of a passerby... :]

Eva said...

so true. I just discovered your blog...wonderful post :)

http://bottleblack.blogspot.com

Cassie said...

I just found your blog and this was such an amazing post to introduce me.
Its funny, I've had that thought before too. 10-20, soooo much happens. Its weird to think that its only 10 years.
Good food for thought, lady!
I'm excited to follow ya.

Daydream Living said...

Hi Courtney,
You sure have a way with words, wow, lovely post! I made a little link about you in my blog today, hope you like it. Have a good Tuesday,
Maureen x

Thisisme said...

Beautiful post, and you're right of course, so much does happen between 10 - 20. I love your writing and will certainly be following you from now on. I just popped over on the recommendation of Maureen at Daydream Living.

Kaity Teer said...

Something about this post made me tear up. Thanks for sharing from your beautiful heart.

shopgirl said...

Very sweet post and so true. You are both wise beyond you years.

I'm now following you too. :-))

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